Another thing that added to my envious life was that as a second job, I was working at Continental airlines in their reservations area. I was working very minimal hours but could travel all over the world and often in First Class. At my full time job at a hospital, I worked three twelve hour shifts per week and was able to manipulate days so that I had long stretches of days off in a row…. and used it to travel.
Fun, spontaneous but also MEANINGLESS.
After 9/11 happened, the airlines asked for volunteers to take a long term leave but keep the traveling benefits. I was all about this and jumped on this offer. Three years later, I was furloughed and lost my flight benefits with the promise that when Continental was ready to hire again I would be first to be called and offered my same seniority (which is important when working at an airlines) and start back at the same pay I left at. This was also the same time that my Boy-Toy and I decided to end our dead-end relationship. This was a hard time and once I grieved over my sudden change in my envious life, I started to grow and change. As I have said before, this is the time I got my dog, Mesa, and my capacity to love started to flourish.
Fast forward to right now….
On my mind now I am wondering if I am stepping back in my life. Am I regressing instead of growing??? I think of all the fun trips I could take and the places I have yet to visit. And another really strange thing…. I have not seen my Boy Toy for over two years. I was in a grocery store parking the other day and there he was. We had a quick surface type chat with each other. Oh please, Oh please….. I hope he doesn’t call me. I really cannot go back to that meaningless unfulfilling life I had before.