I was one of "those" intrusive person. The dreaded, the hated, the obnoxious person. Don't be hating, let me explain.....
I found myself on a mini-vacation along the coast in San Luis Obispo, at a street fair, outside the jumping cage watching my great-nephew go crazy. Yes, I am that old to be a Great-Aunt. Standing next to me was a momma watching her Asian son, also going crazy in the jumping cage. I just had to. Since her son was not within hearing distance, I just went with it. I asked her if her son was adopted. I am sure she is thinking what a jerk I am. As quickly as I asked the question, I stated that I have been waiting for 2 years to adopt from China. She grabbed me and hugged me! What an unexpected response. Her son was adopted from Taiwan. She knows the agony of the wait, the unknown, and more wait. Great conversation and sharing.... and then as quickly as we met, the boys were out of the cage and we both went on our way with boys in hand.
I did take away from this conversation added strength and renewal that the long wait has an amazing outcome.... The woman will never know how her random act of conversation and sharing helped this waiting momma.
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- Lisa and Tate
- Every day I spend with Tate is a wonderment. Sometimes I tear up just thinking of my baby. On May 25 2009 she was placed in my arms... life has never been happier or the same.
18 comments:
Sometimes it pays to take a chance! Glad it was a good one. This time next year you'll be eating left over jelly beans with Tate!
Sounds like a chance meeting turned into a really nice experience. I see women out with what appears to be adopted Asian children, but I never have the nerve to speak up. Your experience makes me want to next time.
Donna :)
I just teared up reading that she hugged you. How Awesome!
Joan.
I have done that very thing! I think it is different when you are waiting. Everyone wants to offer support. And you are not old. I am a great aunt too. (4 times)
Very cool. =)
Ah, how sweet! What a great experience!
Awww, what a great experience.
Does not sound obtrusive at all. You were respectful and related to this lady your story. SO happy that you had a positive experience.
Keep smilin!
Good for you! I think if one can ask discretely, then one should. What a boost for your spirits, too!
I'm so glad you found someone to talk to and that it was such an encouragement! Soon friend...soon!
Wow! I've seen several asian kiddies with their caucasian Mums, and only once asked whether the child was adopted - and she was!
It's fabulous that you asked away from her son. I am glad you had a positive experience. I asked once, and it was really bad. It was a mother and daughter at a playground, I was with there with my niece. They were playing together and I asked the mom if her child was adopted, because I was waiting to adopt from China. She gave me the most suprised look and told me her husband is Korean. OOPS! :-( I felt terrible, so now I will only ask if the kids are away and both parents are present to ensure neither of them are Asian. I still feel terrible!
Jill
It's always great when you make a connection like that, even if it's just for a few moments!
Age has nothing to do with whether a person is a great parent. my daughter became a mom when she was 18 and she is a great mother, I also know some "moms" of all ages that should not have had kids. being a mom is about a desire to make a difference everyday in everyway in your child life. its about enjoying every stage that they go thru, the good and the bad times. It is about at the end of the day being so grateful that you have had one more day with your kids and praying that you will have another one in the morning. It is about helping them become strong enough to not just survive but to thrive and be everything in life that they want. Its helping them pick up the pieces when life sometimes crashes. Letting them know that your love and being will always be there supporting them no matter what happens.
I became a mom at 19,20,28,29 and now again at 43. i also have grandsons that are 5,3,and 1.5. I returned in dec 07 with my 3 yo Zoe. we traded squares way back before I even knew who Zoe was( shes 3 1/2 and from Henan)You and tate were the first swap that i had done.. Good luck you are closer to her every day... Bonnie,Desmond,Tevin and Zoe pontillo... Geneseo NY
suares 78,79,80
What a great way to be received. One day, drawing closer, that will be us with waiting parents asking. I hope to pay it forward just like you received.
So glad you got the nerve up, I never seem to! What a great response from her!
Wow, how sweet of her!
let's hope our wait is down to MONTHS only...I think it is....my feeling is we (you too!) will be seeing our little ones faces by Thanksgiving, and seeing as in "live action", not just the pic but actually in China. Let's hope it's true- the wait is hard and it just gets harder...
I have been asked all manner of dumb and rude questions since we brought our daughter home but I never, ever, mind a waiting parent asking where my child is from! I was guilty of the same "intrusions" too, you just want to feel connected and to know that it really will happen some day.
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