WISHING EVERYONE A

LAME-NESS

I have been a lame blogger girl lately. Like all the other blogger buds, I have tons of fun and games happening in my life with Christmas and all the festivities, but really not motivated enough to get posting it. My bad. Hope everyone had a blast and blessed Christmas and an AMAZING New Years Eve!!!




Had to share this cute baby.... 2008 is just around the corner and will be the year that my dreams of becoming a mother will become true.... The year that so many of us will realize our dreams and others will grow closer with each passing month. Keep the faith and hope.

SNEAK PEEK

Of Tate's soon be to finished Kingdom..... just a peek thru the doorway.

Still to do before total reveal.....

I have to do the window treatments.... a project that will involve power tools.

And accessorize the walls.... hang her name and frame the Mary Engelbreit print and hang.

PRESENTS

Seeing this on a gift just makes my body tingle from head to toes!

Kind of makes Tate real......

CHRISTMAS WITH THE SWACS

Kind of sounds like a Christmas movie or something. Don't ya think?


I know I have talked about this little group of Single Women Adopt China (hence "SWAC") that I belong to before. Besides all the snuggles and play with the kiddos, there is such love, warmth and concern felt for each other. I am so lucky that during the long wait, I have these sistahs to hang with.

Waiting momma Leanne (LiLi) always adds such energy to the group. Somehow after the eating winds down, up starts a dance-a-thon. The video clip below of Eliza (Lala) is from our most recent meeting. Twinkle Toes was able to join us this time. She and Liza danced and did make overs on each other and the good sport, LiLi.

Oh man, I love my little Twinkle Toes niece!

If my SWAC sisters are reading this blog, just know that I love you all so very much! Thanks for the love and support!

BOOGIE ON BABY!

Miracles really do happen at Christmas time! Last night was our SWAC (single woman adopt China) Christmas party. During the laughing, playing, and dancing, I hit the wrong button on my point and shoot camera revealing that I have a video camera of sorts. Here for your enjoyment boogieing babies.... Eliza and Charlee and Liza..... a true miracle that I was able to share this with you.

SO MUCH TO WRITE....

So little time.... MUST share pictures and text will came later!!! I had a spectacular fun time!!!

What you really want to see.....Tess in all her amazingly breathtakingly BEAUTY!




This was the last picture I took of Tess as we were leaving for the airport. She fell asleep within seconds of being in the car, so I just got to kiss her one cheek SOFTLY and leave her and Julie at the curb.

My arms and heart ache for her and I miss chatting it up with the Divine Ms Julie.

SMILE....

First glimpse of Tess...




And now.... the amazingly beautiful Tess.....



Who I will be trying to do this to tomorrow, IF Tess will let me so quickly..... I have warned Julie that I will be chapping Tess' cheeks with all the kissing and snuggling (IF Tess will let me) and Tess should have extra cream put on her face to prepare for this KISS FEST!

This is just what my not-so-rare disease needs..... A temporary "fix".

AM I GETTING A RARE DISEASE?

Here are my symptoms....

• achy arms
• lump in throat
• pain in the pit of my stomach
• listless gazing off looking at nothing
• anxiousness with a known cause

I have googled my symptoms on the Internet. I have cross referenced to the medically precise information found on Gray's Anatomy and ER. Nothing in this renowned medical community can explain it. The only medication that would cure my disease would be this long proceed of waiting coming to be DONE .... and spending this Christmas with Tate.

CHRISTMAS CRAFT CHALLENGE

Julie over at Tess and Back has asked those who have Christmas crafts project to show. I term myself as a frustrated artist, one that cannot paint or draw. Since I have this burning need to release my artist in me, I have gotten into design and creating. I am not what I would say a "crafter"... I just do "stuff".

I am not decorating once again this year for Christmas except for my dining room light so I just kind of dug around in some of the boxes and came up with these. I am a lover of all that is red and bright and a child's dream of Christmas. All my ornaments and decorating are in this theme. I use red plaid and glossy red berries and beads. Next year when I have Tate, I will most definitely go all out for her. This year, not too much.

These 12 x 12 inch pillows are felted wool. I did these little softies two years ago. The Santa is from a pattern, the snowman was of my own design. I just love the snowman pillow.

I have been loving the snowman decorating for a mantle piece have collected quite a collection. These are three of my experimental ones. They are from my own design and weighted with beans on the bottom so they do not topple over.

Many years ago I made these stockings. We never had cute stockings for Christmas, just the standard plain red felt you get at the store. It might have something to do with this being an American tradition and we celebrated the Norwegian traditions for Christmas. Getting a little into psycho analysis, I guess I missed the cute stockings and made these as my first Christmas craft. They are made from a kit.

ORNAMENTS

Necessity is the mother of invention.... Salt dough hearts. I used small heart cookie cutter, small paperclips for the centers and high gloss red craft paint then a high gloss lacquer. I have about 40 of these and will place all around the branches. Just looks so cute! My own design.

Another one of my designs. These are small jointed Teddy Bears made out of felt and floss. They are about three inches tall. I have about 6 of these.

Made from a pattern about 15 years ago. These are brass sheets cut and punched. The Santa to the right was real detailed and took a while. During this time, I cut out 6t stars and placed them in the kitchen window for the holidays. I loved them so much that they have been up year round since.

If you took Julie's challenge, let me know.

BULLETS

I'm just lovin' the bullets for giving out stuff I must share....

• In Tate's Kingdom I am almost done with the painting and almost ready to move the furniture back into the room! It is looking so amazing and I promise to post pictures soon.


• I am traveling next week out to Minneapolis MN to see TESS and JULIE! I am so excited I cannot stop smiling when I think of this! Here I am holding both gals during the Utah bloggy 2007 gathering. Tess actually was sitting with me happily, but for some reason, when it came time for a picture of these two gals and me, she wanted to bolt!


• The other day I got to do a thing that us waiting mommas without any children crave. I got to watch Eliza for one hour while her momma went grocery shopping. It was so fun sitting in the downstairs play room/storage room/ office. Who am I kidding by giving it a name- it is the JUNK ROOM! Playing with Eliza and having her undivided sweet attention. She is a such a smart cutie pie!


• Man I love me some good EB*Y shopping! I have been adding to Tate's Library. For the bargain price of .99 I have bought hardcover USED but actually new looking books. This week a signed copy by Jan Brett of Daisy Comes Home, three of the "Bear" series, Bear Wants More, Bear Stays Up, Bear Snores On.


• I did splurge on the new book Good Morning China amazingly illustrated by the artist Hu Yong Yi. You must see this one.


• I have been feeling so good about all the small projects I have been getting done around this house. It think it helps to be working on a major re-do and getting the little stuff done also. While working with the white paint for all the trim in the Kingdom, I have painted inside part of the front door and two layers on top of Tate's dresser.


• I am trying to organize my space to accommodate Tate and all her "stuff". When you live in a small 100 yr old house with limited closets (had one originally, I have added three) you have to try to be creative. I have been working on some creative projects, but these project as worthy of it's own post with pictures.


• I am feeling great and no longer like a stuffed Build A B*ar.

STUFFED LIKE A BUILD A BEAR

My head is stuffed like a stuffed bear from Build a Bear. I have a cold, a yucky, stuffy, COLD. On the plus side, I can't taste a thing. So the Thanksgiving gorge fest was not for me. I ate just because I was hungry not for the shear pleasure that the food was too good to stop. What is it that when you head feels all full, nothing even looks good? Hence, for once in my life I ate to live and not live to eat. But I feel that the tides of change is shifting soon. Today, as I was gazing at Chocolate Mint pie, I actually felt like taking a bite. I felt the smooth creamy chocolate in my mouth and the distinct taste of mint penetrating my stuffiness. I set my piece of Chocolate Mint pie aside to be enjoyed when I can taste its flavors in all it's smooth minty goodness. I'm hoping to indulge later tonight or tomorrow for breakfast.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2007

So much to be thankful for.....

CHEESE CAKE FACTORY

SLC area finally got their first Cheese Cake Factory! Here is was it takes to actually go and eat at the CCF!!!

Play by Play at the NEW Cheese Cake Factory…….

4:30 pm I start to stand in line just to get on the list for seating on a Friday evening. Now I am not sure if the choice to go on a Friday night was a poor choice, but heck, we thought it would be like a late lunch, early dinner.

4:45 pm after 15 minutes waiting in line to make the list, we are on the list and the proud bearer of an 8 inch, light-up vibrating thing. We grabbed the treasure and we're told that it was about a 2-2 ½ wait. Off we ran to do a bit of shopping and returned back after 1 ½ hrs! Only one hour left of our wait!

6:30 pm- we inquired when we would be able to be seated. The young blond who definitely graduated with HONORS*** (wink, wink) smiled and told us another 1 ½ hrs to 2 hrs!!!! CCF is adding time to their projected wait time on us! The High Honor graduate tells us that we can watch for seating in the bar and grab a table and get the same service and food. With this add knowledge, I knew without a doubt of her high honors!

6:30 pm- we spied a table and headed for it only to be intercepted by other starving waiting savages. Since they looked hungrier and meaner, we let them have the table and waited another 10 minutes.

6:40 pm- ahhh, we are seated and dreaming of the cheese cake and making our entrée selections. While we were discussing the cheese cake possibilities, there came a gorgeous man who sidled up to me with an offer to buy our cheese cake IF we let them have the table when we were finished. Although this hunk of gorgeous tried not to be “hovering”, we still felt the need to kind of hurry.

6:55 pm- we are finally breaking bread and smearing the butter. The order was in kitchen and we were prepared for the scrumptious meal.

Reminder: I still had in my purse the coveted possession of the reservation light-up, vibrate calling wand! So being the always thinking of being helpful and nice character that I am, I called my brother, John and offered it to him IF he could be at the restaurant in 30 minutes. No small feat for my sister-in-law, Michelle to get out the door quickly especially since it was just sprung on her. They live about 20+ minutes from this place.

7:05 pm- meal is served…. Me? I ordered the chicken Madeira- to die for! Polly (the other part of “we”) got the BBQ chicken salad minus the chicken… she is a vegetarian. Gorgeous man still hovering on the side wall, waiting.

7:30 pm- John arrives and takes the magic wand to check how much longer. We are done eating and give up the table to the gorgeous man and his family.

7:32 pm- John returns to me and tells me it will be another 30-45 more minutes. It was decided that he and Michelle would look for a table in the bar or wait for the magic wanted to go off…. Whichever came first. Gorgeous man spies a table ready to empty and sends his son to save the table and find John since I was so nice….. NICE REALLY PAYS OFF I AM THINKING. John and Michelle eat at the bar and still the magic wand does not make a single light or vibration. I think John just handed the wand off to two anothers waiting so they too could hold this coveted wand.

Worth the wait??? You bet it was!!! Feasted on Chicken Madeira and lemon raspberry cheese cake!

***Graduating with Honor is a way of referring to a young gal who has had bre*st enhancements. If they are overly enhanced, then she graduated with HIGH HONORS. In some high schools in our city, this is given as the graduation present to the graduate.

MARIE OSMOND

I was a little impressed what I heard come out Marie Osmond's mouth the other night. While channel surfing, I happened upon Donny and Marie Osmond on the Larry King show. Not being a big fan of Larry King or the Osmonds, I just clicked on through. However, I did catch this blurb of the conversation that made me pause for a few seconds. I really do not know a whole lot about Marie Osmond, but I do know she has 8 kids. Some bio and some adopted. I guess one of her sons is in rehab. What should have been a private family issue was revealed by Larry King. By the look of shock on Marie's face, she was not aware that this was known information shared by the media. Her first reaction was to protect her son and stated that he has some things he was trying to work through such as being a teen and being adopted. Larry King did not let the adoption thing slip by. He followed up with the "he was adopted?" thing. Marie immediately gained composure and said, "I can't remember whom of my kids are adopted" or something like that. The fact that Marie feels the same towards her children that she did not want to differentiate between the bio and adopted children made me like Marie a little bit more. As most of us who are adopting, we feel our little ones are our children and not less than or more than any bio children. Kudos goes to Marie.

I have just got to share an Osmond story.... being from the homeland of all that is Osmond, UTAH. This story has to do with my interaction with the purple sock stud.... Donny. As stated, I am not a big fan of the Osmonds. Growing up in Utah and around Donny's exact age, I found the hoopla over Donny during his hay day a bit "gaggy". I was a 13 yrs old and I will say that I was a cute "mature" 13 year old. My friend Terilyn and I decided to go roller skating at a local skating rink in SLC one evening. Now mind you, the Osmonds lived in Provo which is 40 miles south of SLC. As the custom was during this roller skating rink time, the lights are dimmed a little and it is announce that it is the snowball. A couple starts the "dance" skate and splits off asking another person until it snowballs with everyone skating. Out of no where skates two cute guys. One my age and the other a bit older. The younger one asks me to skate and when we split up instead of finding someone new, the older one asked me and the younger one asked Terilyn. After finishing the snowball with these guys, we stopped and chatted. While chatting up these two guys, we comment that they looked like Donny and Alan Osmond. Quietly these two guys confirmed that they were Donny and Alan but they just wanted to go have some fun and not be recognized. Hence the 40 miles drive to skate. I think that Alan had just gotten his driver's license. Terilyn and I had to promise not to draw attention to them and we had another skate and then they were off. Both Terilyn and I could not have cared less about "the celebrities" and just laughed at this encounter. I have since lost track of Terilyn, but I am sure she shares this with her family and friends now.

I do have a ton of other encounters with the likes of Robert Redford (several times), The Oldest son from Eight is Enough, and numerous Brady Bunch actors. As well as other Osmond stuff.

Just for fun.... tell me about your celebrity sights!!!

LID-IVERSARY

I had planned on using the Sesame Street numbers as part of the life book documenting the wait for Tate. Each month representing another chapter. Now I think twenty is the last number. I will have to search more cause I know just because Sesame Street only counts to twenty, CC*A knows how to count higher... as evident in the referrals.

One positive thing about the wait!?
I have gotten to know and love so many of my bloggy buds!

BULLETS

I love the whole bullet idea. I love reading them and I love doing them when you have random thoughts that you want to share. Here are some bullets.

• Tomorrow marks my 20 month LID..... time is passing so quickly when you see that a lot of my buds with babes are celebrating their 1 year referrals or family/metcha days. I want to thank them for adding to my wait by encouragement and sharing joy with their babes.


• As is the routine with Mesa and Me. In the mornings when I do not have to work, we gather in the car and head to my favorite coffee drive-thru..... Ahhhhhh, coffee for me, and treat for Mesa. These fine coffee magicians know just how to make my brew and know just how to snuggle Mesa and hand her a treat. Then off we go to the dog park. The area I live in is very dog friendly. I live in an area that I term "DINKs". Duel Income No KIDs. The kids are their indulged pups. One of the puppy parent is a tennis pro at a local tennis club and there is an endless supply of good tennis balls. As is our custom, we arrive with at ball in out CHUCKETT and leave with the same ball. Mesa will not play with any other ball but the one we come with. A real problem when it is stolen by another dog. Today as we left the park, Mesa grabbed her ball. But this time, the abundance of balls got to her and into her mouth she loaded another ball. Like a treasure she pranced back to the car sporting two balls in her mouth.....


• I'm changing it up in my house. With the onset of Tate's Kingdom, I have had to shift things around designating rooms for other uses. One of the rooms hit with this fate is the down stair guest / catchall room. I am getting rid of a double mattress with frame. I could not find any takers of this extra bed. Instead of designating this mattress to the land fill, I decided to list in on Craig's list as a free item. No sooner did I finish the posting and I got hit with an on slot on calls...... Free is way too tempting for people not to want. I hope that today will be the end of me looking at that mattress hanging out in my driveway.


• I have decided that I will be hiring someone to do the moulding in Tate's Kingdom, so things are put on hold for a few weeks as I try to find someone. This idea of having someone else do the mouldings is giving me thoughts of having the Sun room (Mesa's room) done at the same time. The temptation is too great to do more when you are actually having someone come in you home to do some work.


• Finally after two years of damage, I have had my front of my house fixed. With my procrastination and out of sight, out of mind mentality, I have put this off until now. My sweet neighbor, Fong, ran into it. She was new to driving and gunned the gas instead of hitting the breaks causing her to plow into the house. Thankfully no one was hurt except the house and now that is like new.

Congrats to those who have received their referrals.... so sorry and hugs for those who did not and were expecting to.....

ME and WAIN-

The other day I was introduce to Wain- a meeting I will always remember. What first felt like a cold emptiness, turned quickly into a warm embrace. As Wain steadily moved in, slowly the echoing stopped. Although Wain is a little bare right now, fully covered Wain will take me to the heights of love. So ends another day in Tate's Kingdom......



My next step is caulking, painting and the mouldings. My sister leaves on Monday. After having so many minor problems due to the lack of tools needed, I will be hiring the mouldings top and baseboard.

RECIPES

I really need to provide a few recipes. I want to do it with the least amount of effort for me or for the ones interested in them. The few recipes that I promised were... stuff I made for the Utah bloggers breakfast and now the Cafe Rio Mexican salad stuff..... I think maybe I can do a site for recipes only and then link to it when I sometimes to share? Any other suggestions?

WINGER WITCHES NIGHT

I decided that women only* needed a little fun minus the men in our lives. What better excuse for a parteee than having my sister in town AND a Halloween cheer-up for me? What a blast and cheer up it definitely was! I stated that witches hats were optional. My grown-up niece, Crystal, dressed up all cute and witchy.

As the Utah bloggers can confirm, there is a local "modern Mexican" restaurant here in Utah that is to die for. The reason why "modern" is because it is mostly healthy salads..... Homemade flour tortillas, pork barbacoa or chicken or shredded beef, black beans, Mexican rice, romaine lettuce, crispy tortilla strips, and the most amazingly delicious creamy tomatilla salad dressing. One of of my friends from my Gourmet club (another post) had actual recipes and served this when she was hosting the monthly dinner. Geared with these recipes and a more than willing sampling group in the Winger witches..... This is what I served. AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS! (sorry too busy yumming to take pictures)

After feasting on "healthy" witches food, we made designer Carmel apples..... FUN!!! I had Carmel, semi-sweet chocolate, white chocolate in a squeeze bottle, chopped pecans nuts, candy corn and little BLACK bats. I let each witch "at it" to create.

Ending up the brew-ha ha. We watched HOCUS POCUS... a Halloween tradition for me, a first for my mom (Nana), and a reminder of a great movie for all others.

FOOD.

FLICK.

FROLIC.

FUN!!!

****Witches attending.... Twinkle Toes, Sparkle, Michelle (mom to T.T. and Sparkle) my mom- Nana, sister- Kelly (visiting from Florida) and Crystal (my nickname for her is Beautiful- she calls me Gorgeous).... Mesa was a dog and stayed in the back yard.

CRAZY HAIR DAY

At Twinkle Toe's elementary school.....

This is ALL her hair with a cup inside. She got THIRD PLACE!!! I am not sure if that was in the school, or for third grade only. Anyway, she had a riot doing it!

DEMO DAY IN TATE'S KINGDOM

What a go getter my sister is ... she just blows me away. Okay, she is 7 yrs younger, but man this woman can work. When she arrived for to help me with the kingdom, she said she just wanted to hit it (remodel) and hit it hard. She was not kidding me. She really motivated me and we tackle the Demo in Tate's Kingdom. Our day started at 10:30 and ended work at 5:50. Here is what we accomplished by hitting it hard and working!!!


First we had to take all this junk out of the room and find a place to put it.









The only thing that had to remain was my desk and computer. I have to work in this space until everything is hooked up in the basement.












We ripped off the chair moulding and baseboards. Stripped out the carpet and hauled it to the curb. Washed the three wood blinds and washed down the walls and ceiling.....

After a quick drink of Diet Coke, we were off and running to buy the paint from Benjamin Moore. I went with the eggshell-Summer Blue color. This 16 inch square sample patch has been taped on my wall for me to observe all the various hues it takes throughout the day. There is no way Tate's Kingdom would have any hue that was not perfect in every type of lighting.



Once back, my sister, Kelly (in the photo above) painted the white crown moulding and I started adding this amazing blue.

This where we stopped after the end of a day and the start of me working. We have one more coat of blue paint and more white trim paint. Where you see the green, we will put wainscoting 4 feet up from the floor. Then trim on top of the wainscoting and add the 8 inch baseboards. I live in a 100 yr old house and it is the style in the baseboards throughout the house. More painting, window treatments and carpet..... We had a lot more to do but we have accomplished so much in one day!

I am so filled with JOY.....I am sitting here in the Kingdom and I am loving the warm night hues and thinking of rocking Tate.

BUILD A BRIDGE

Last night was the family birthday celebration for the quick and smart witted Smiley guy, who is now 15 years old. Those who know him can attest to his delightful personality.... and his bossy-ness. The jury is still out IF Smiley will be coming to China with us. I am in need of a great photographer and this he definitely is. Why would I be concerned taking Smiley with me? I worry that he might get bored with all the hanging around "bonding" and "finalizing". Maybe he will too bossy? But he will be strong, helpful, and oh so entertaining. I'm leaning towards including this funny bossy guy....

Like I said, Smiley is quick and smart witted. He is hilarious. He can be a BAD tease. Last night he was razzing me about something. I said if you only know how sad I am, you would be nice to me. His quick response was.

Wa Waaaaa.

Cry Me a river

Build Me a bridge

and GET OVER IT!

This just cracked me up and has gotten me building that bridge and getting over it. Thanks also to all the tender comments. We are all in it together.... So build that bridge!

TIGHTNESS

I am having a hard time sorting out my feelings, let alone starting to describe these feels.

I just feel an emptiness. A longing. A hunger. For weeks now I have had this tightness in my throat straight down to the pit of my stomach. In this tightness, I feel an uncontrollable cry. A sob. A scream. But NOTHING will come out.

Each day I pull myself out of bed and creep through my day.... feeling no joy. Mechanically I will feed the dog, shower, and try to work. I am not depressed. I have known deep depression. This feels so different.

I have been obsessed in the past with seeing and reading the blogs of the lucky ones. Family fun. Family snuggles. FAMILIES.

I have craved to be in the presence of other babies. To, for just a moment, feel the weight of this sweetness in my arms. To soak up the cuteness of each and every movement and intonation of a sweet baby voice and cry. Now I have no such desire.

I am unable to answer truthfully when asked "How are you?" I just reply, "fine, good, well". How would I begin to say I am dying inside. S.L.O.W.L.Y.

So when I am asked "How are you?" know that my voice is saying "good" but look deep within my eyes and know I am suffering a loss of one more day, month, holiday, and year.

Holding. Loving. Living.

Being a family and mother.

It's COLD and RAINY OUTSIDE

But indoor it's smelling wonderfully delicious and warm. The mere suggestion by this blog and out I run to the frozen section in my local grocery market. These delicious bundle of sin were on sale, so of course I had to buy two..... one for now, one for later.

Frozen product... bake for 30mins...




After 30 minutes these frozen swirls of sin are ready...

Final touch is to add the orange (with orange zest too) frosting. My only complaint is I love frosting and wish there was more. Finger licking yummmmmm.

I am still trying to decide where I will be placing these extra pounds of fat on my body that these sinner will add.... YUMMO!