Sunday, February 25, 2007

IN THE MOMENT

Four years ago, someone suggested I adopt from China. Two years ago Tana (that someone), suggested it again as she was going for her second Chinese daughter, Sofie. This time IT just felt right, and off I went on this amazing journey for Tate. In the back of my mind I have always thought of ways to keep Tate connected to who she truly is. The melting pot as I think of it. She will be by birth and race, Chinese. Just looking at her will give that simple piece of truth. The rest will be up to me. She is formost AMERICAN.... what better culture that represents the melting pot of people and culture. By instinct, I will provide her with Norwegian traditions, customs and some words. I plan on celebrating all holidays of the US, China, Norway, and the diversity of the US..... Greek festivals, Cinco De Mayo, Italian days..... All of it..... Just by saying this, I feel like my life will be nothing but celebrations and parties. I want Tate to feel that so many elements make up who really she is.... That she is unique, yet she is "normal". This normalcy drives me to make the connections with others who have adopted from China. I love to socialize but somehow I crave this connection with others who are in my similar situation. I am counting on this support to help me thru the tough time of unanswered questions, feelings of value, and abandonment. I plan on being there for those I could help. We all have been entrusted with the well being of the greatest gift ever, that of the love and caring of a child, and not just a child, a child who is in need of ME as much as I am in need of HER. Today I feel that need for HER. It is a snowy lazy Sunday morning, and boy do I wish I had a little snuggle baby to be with.....Cook teddy bear pancakes, rock and read to. As with everything in my life, I say there is always tomorrow. That tomorrow is just getting closer each and every passing day. Who knows one year from today, I will be wishing for the type of alone day that I am having today. I guess I just want what I do not have at the moment. But this very moment would be so magical if only I held TATE.......

15 comments:

Stacy said...

This is a wonderful post. When you talked about snowy snuggly days and teddy bear pancakes it brought tears to my eyes. What a loving picture.

Thank you for sharing this.

amy said...

what a nice post.thats a great pic and I cant wait to read more of your journey..we are paperchasing and it seems like we have just begun.

A Special Family said...

What a great post. I hope you have Tate home soon!

Kramer said...

I also dream of these special moments. It gives me chills thinking about them. I hope you know how much your support has meant to me!

C.J. said...

So...how often have you read my mind?

Julie said...

Can't wait to see you have those moments with Tate.

In the meantime, go have a pedicure and think of me. I'm dying for one!

Kristin said...

So sweet... you are going to be such a good momma!

kris said...

Beautiful post...thanks for sharing your thoughts. Here's to hoping that Tate is home soon.

Donna said...

I think you expressed what so many of us have felt - and feel. Pretty soon, you'll be enjoying your snuggly Sunday with Tate!

Lee-Anne said...

I hear ya. I lay in bed imagining how things will be...

If only I held Bella...

Shannon S said...

Tate is gonna be one lucky little snuggle bug with you as her mama!

C.J. said...

Thank you :0)...

Susie said...

Such a great post Lisa. You are a very wise person.

Donna & Joe said...

Lisa, what a touching post. You put into words exactly how I feel, but can never verbalize. The thought of rocking and reading to Lauren someday brings tears to my eyes.

Tawni said...

*wiping tears*

perfectly said