TOMORROW STARTS A WHOLE NEW CHAPTER....

And my life will never be the same as it has been for the past 18 months.

Tomorrow the alarm clock will be going off at 5:00 am. This is freakin' early for a gal who has gotten to (mostly) sleep in and awaken "naturally" for the past 18 months.

Tomorrow will be the beginning of enjoying EACH.AND.EVERY evening at home, well at least, not at work for five days of the week. A new chapter in getting to eat fresh dinner.... not microwaved frozen dinners. Fresh right off the stove and hopefully healthier.

Oh how I look forward to being part of the day as it winds down into night. The days are getting longer, the snow and ice are thawing, and I am itchin' to get out there and enjoy EACH.AND.EVERY evening.

*** I work for an airlines and every 4-5 months we get a new shift time and days off.... just got lucky and working early hours! Yea!

DINGY.......

To those who have had conversations with me lately, DINGY is how you might describe your encounter with ME!!! Freak!!! I'm searching for words, loosing concentration, talking slow. This is not the true me. Sadly, I am very aware of this. I kind of brushed it off as an age thing.... hormones, stress, preoccupations. A few weeks ago I had my third and FINAL physical for the updated home study. The doctor was new to me and a detailed history was taken. During this conversation the doctor suggested a few other blood levels to be drawn. Heck, even she could tell that I was dingy! My blood work showed vitamin deficiencies which would be to blame for all this freakin' memory, searchy, flighty behaviors. I now will be having weekly Vitamin B something shots (memory to blame for not remember which one), prescriptive strength iron, Vitamin D.....

Oh how I look forward to my witty, sharp minded self again. For those who knew me when will scream "Welcome back, my friend"... for the new friends, I am sure you will be saying "Who is the woman???"

Tomorrow I start the weekly shots... oh my achy arms.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

Year of the OX!!!

I had fun meeting some local Chinese daughters and mommas to celebrate the first day of Chinese New Year. Thank you ladies for letting me soak in all that delicious cuteness of your Chinese daughters... it really helps me fill up my empty heart and arms yearning for Tate.

*****SPLAT*****

Two days???? TWO DAYS!!!!

Freak! Who are these people who come up with these crazy rumors!?! I am just a little miffed at getting such high hopes then deflated!!! I did try to keep these rumors in perspective. But still got such high hopes only to come tumbling down. A quick cry and then off to live my life for one more month.


Still quoting Seinfeld "SERENITY NOW!!!!"

I am really excited for the families who are March 1 and 2 2006 who will be seeing their sweet babies this month.... Congrats!!!!

REFERRAL DAY PLAN...

I am really lacking in this one... or so I have deducted by my lack of plan. I am giving it a 30% chance I will get my referral for Tate in a week or so. I am giving next month a 90% chance that this will the "THE MONTH" for a referral. That being said, I have not done a whole lot of thinking and planning for that special day. I just figure IF I get a call from my agency this month, I will pick it up and say "HI" and search for a pen and paper to write on. Change of plan, I will search out "the call" sheet I printed off of Giorgia Danette blog a few years ago and put in a safe place, adding a pen close by.

I am not sure if I should request a day off of work this month when there is rumor of storks flying.... a day I would rather save and take off when I actually have my gal.... Then again, there is no way I can take "the call" at work. Such dilemma. I will have to talk to my supervisor about that one.

Do I round up the troops (family) for a gathering for "the call" and ask agency to call back when everyone is gathered? Hmmmm, it would take parents at least 30 minutes to get to my house and brother and family one hour... providing everyone is ready to jump in the car and head out the instant I rally the troops.....This one I all ready know the answer. There is no way I will have the emotions to do this one... "FREAKIN' GIVE ME THE INFORMATION, agency lady!!!"

What to do about the blog??? Another no brainer... get a post ready "to go" where I can add the picture and information.

Now for the celebration part... this was a questioned asked to me last night by my sweet buddy and fellow SWAC (single women adopt china) gal, Yvette. I guess when Yvette got the call, a huge party was in the works.... Heck, I think they had to rent a banquet hall to contain all those who were celebrating. Opppps, back to the subject in hand..... "the celebration". This one is one I am sure will be the no brainer. We are a family who can celebrate at no notice.... I will do a warning to clear the calender on the rumor day... and head to a Chinese restaurant with referral picture in hand.



So now I have a referral day plan for this low possibility of referral month....

• locate "the call" paper placing in safe place with pen close at hand.
• not take day off but chatting with supervisor for suggestions of what to do.
• get immediate gratification and get information from agency lady before gathering the troops.
• blog announcement ready to post except for vital information ready to be added.
• party like a rock star with referral in hand.

I am sure next month I will be more planned.... day off requested, troops gathered, possible video set up, oxygen mask ready to apply and oh the ever present call sheet ready to gain the added information for my love, TATE!!!

I HAVE A DREAM.....

What more appropriate than to quote Martin Luther King on the day we celebrate him.

Last night I did have a dream.... a VIVID dream. A dream where I received Tate's referral. I got to see her sweet face, see her (assumed) birth date (Feb 28 2008) and see the referral package that the Fed Ex guy brought me. Soooooo vivid and surreal! Needless to say I was not expecting this referral and was in a state of SHOCK and tears..... tears of joy the whole time in this dream.

So, I have a dream... one that might come true in a few days or a month or two. But it will be a dream come true.

BULLETS

So much is going on in my life, on the adoption scene and at this good old house.... all good, but causing me to have no time.

So busting out the bullets.

• Shocked and over the moon with the latest "rumors" of the speed up of referrals thru at least March 23.... I would be shocked if I see Tate's face in a few days to weeks.... happily over the moon shocked!


• After work I stopped off at a grocery store for a few items. I was drawn to the baby section.... I just stood there and stared. I was soaking in all the baby food, melty baby snacks, pediolyte, formulas... BLANKLY stared at all items that means "BABY". I soon will be adding stuff from this aisle into my grocery cart. Sooner than maybe expected, I might add. I decided to buy that small square wipes container for my new diaper satchel.


• Shoppy with my gal in mind .... overstuffed rocking chair for snuggle time with my gal, small portable diaper bag that fits into my purse AND will hook to the side of her stroller.


• I decided to re-register for stuff at Babys r Us. By now I have collected a few things and know more what I need and want. I originally registered a few years ago and I was clueless. Still have not bought a car seat. The one I originally wanted is not available because it was last years style. I guess this is what happens when a momma waits three years for her baby.
  
• Slowly but surely I am getting the nursery done. I have a goal to get it at least looking cute by the time I have a friend and her two kiddos come to visit the snow in Utah.... looking forward to meeting this gal and her family.


• I am working on the renewal of the last and final I 600A... what a joy (cough, cough) to be working with my agency.... I have not wanted to disrespect or speak badly here on this blog so hope this quote from Seinfeld will suffice... "SERENITY NOW, SERENITY NOW!!!"


• For the renewed home study I needed to get a physical. Oh joy of JOY!!! Not only am I armed with the signed paperwork for the home study, I now have a fistful of other "tests" that I get to do!!! Lucky me... mammogram, colonoscopy, bone density scan..... and more blood work.


• Not sure how much I will believe I will be seeing Tate's face next week. I am okay with seeing her muchly anticipated sweet face. Just figure if rumor at true, I will be getting an dream come true sooner than later.
  

I do have a lot of catch up of posts like the home rejuvenation going on here as well as Tate's kingdom and wardrobe. All are posted with anticipation of just plan boring stuff, but stuff I wanted to document for when I slurp this blog, edit, print in book form and end this chapter of the blog. I do plan on continuing a new blog documenting life with Tate.

TOUCHED TO TEARS...

A LOT. Not the sad sobby tears of sadness, but the brimming, ready to overflow tears caused by being touched by so much. I am at that emotional state where everything is joyful and HAPPY.

Teary HAPPY!!!

Tearing up from emails. Cafrin as Ro and Re call her, sent me an email pouring out the love and joy for my upcoming referral. Back at ya my sweet friend.

Tearing up from posts I am reading on other blogs... some mentioning me and Tate, some just getting close to referral, some referral in hand, and others in China getting ready for the HAND OFF of their little ladies.

Tearing up making congrats phone calls.... Blogger Utah single momma buddy just adopted her new sweet little prince Solomon. Not being a texting gal, I call to leave a message on her answering machine. Had to cut the message short because of on coming tears.

Tearing up from the mail.... called my agency about my renewal of the I-600A.... soon a package with the next step and information on what to expect came to my mailbox.

So much happiness for one gal to handle I guess.

ANOTHER LID

not sure how many more.... I would be SHOCKED to receive my referral this time around. Happily SURPRISED to receive in next time... totally at PEACE seeing Tate's face in March go around.

"THERE IS SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL TODAY"

Do you know that feeling deep in your heart and soul. The nagging what is up feeling. The feeling that I cannot place a finger on it feeling. That's me... I am right there. Kind of like a coal burning deep within. A happy coal, that is. Underlining this happen feeling is kind of like a panic coal. HAPPY PANIC coal...... Happy because soon it will be my turn to become a Momma...... something I have wanted to be ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE. Panic because I am thinking WHAT AM I DOING????

HAPPY coal I will embrace.... panic coal I will try to put out.

Happy 2009!!!

"2009 will be the YEAR I will become a MOMMA!!!"

This I shrieked as I about passed out from the truth of this BOLD statement. There is shock and disbelief that this long wait for Tate just might come to an end within the next few months. (Breathe Lisa Breathe)

For the last few months I have had these two 3x4 cards posted on my fridge.

One card is the expiration dates for my fingerprints and I 171H. The other is a list of waiting mommas with their LIDs.

Notice everyone is crossed off!!!

Congrats to the last three.... Ozi-momma. Pipo, and Kelli who are lovingly gazing on the pictures of their sweet gals..... I am once again amazed how well the CC*AA has matched babies to families!

Picture of Mesa just because she is so sweet!