Friday, October 12, 2007

BOOOOOO

Whoooo. Waaaaaa.
I am finding the hardest part of this wait for Tate is the upcoming holiday Halloween.... Two years ago while paper chasing, I thought to myself "next year I should just barely be home from China with Tate in my arms". I will head to the pumpkin patch with her and frolic in the crisp splendor that is AUTUMN. I will watch her astonishment at the strange orange huge balls, snapping pictures of my very own pumpkin love bug. But then this did not happen. I consoled myself with the knowledge that next year I would truly realize my dream and again envisioned Halloween 2006. But NO.... not gonna happen that year. Surely Halloween 2007 was it! Again bitter frustration and disappointment. Could it be, would it possibly be Halloween 2008???

So once again I try to take pleasure in other people's children and the joy of these families. I try to focus on the fun that I can create for myself, friends and families..... dipping Carmel apples, carving pumpkins, playing in leaves.




Instead of posting a picture of my own Pumpkin love bug this Halloween, I am borrowing a picture of this anonymous child..... This child is to represent to me, Tate, who will fill my arms and longings for this fun Autumn holiday one day soon.

13 comments:

OziMum said...

Yep. Its frustration all round, unfortunately.

kris said...

Man this wait is soooooooo hard isn't it? I just called my agency yesterday, begging them for some reassurance that the wait will speed UP. Hang in there. I can't imagine being so close and yet so far. I'm still out on Neptune and have light years to go!

L & J said...

I know what you mean. I remember 2 years ago thinking that LAST year we would have Ava with us to go to the pumpkin patch. And, Christmas...I'm trying not to even think about that right now.

Andrea said...

I know exactly what you are saying, I am saying it too!! Hang in there, we will survive this dreadful wait!!!

Donna & Joe said...

Lisa, it's GOT to be Halloween 2008 for us! I am SO looking forward to every holiday with my daughter.

It's so frustrating constantly thinking this is the last one without our daughters. Hopefully, this REALLY is our last Halloween without our little ones.

Donna :)

Abby's Mom said...

I'm praying that 2008 will be it for all of us :)

Colleen said...

God Lisa, I SO remember these feelings and I am sorry you have to endure this yet again this holiday season. I KNOW it won't happen again - next year you will have EVERY holiday with her. Promise.

sea star said...

I hear ya! Same feelings and after reading all the studies and rumors...I really am wondering if it will ever happen....

Waiting Mom said...

I can empathize. This wait is horrendous. I try to stay busy but my heart aches every day. Hugs, Dale LID 5/24/06

laurel said...

I hope you have her by next Halloween. I feel your heartache. It is so tough. Even tho' we only waited 16 months....it was like heck. Hang in there.

Doris & Dan said...

I feel like Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin. 'Cept we are waiting for our little pumpkins.

HUGS!

Keep smilin!

Shannon said...

I feel your pain. It is unbearable to think I'll have to go this whole holiday season without Emily AGAIN. I wish I could boycott, but I love my family so much, I could never really do that. But it stinks. Vent away. We're all here, holding hands getting through it together.

Journey 2 Eme said...

Hoping. Praying. Keeping fingers crossed that Halloween 2008 IS the year for you and Tate.