BUSTIN' OUT THE BULLETS....

HERE THEY ARE......
(I have been working on these bullets for days now, sorry it is so long and dated on the wrong day)

• They're back!!!! PEEPS.... enough said!
  
• I am tempted to do a weekly post on Wednesday and call it "Wide Awake Wednesday" things that are keeping Lisa awake. However, it is not Wednesday and one of the things keeping me awake at night has been resolved. Okay, sometimes it is a bite being single. Traveling to China is one of them. Relief has been given to me in the form of my amazing brother, John. I have been so worried shouldering the burden of being a new momma, maybe having a sick baby, feeling the responsibility for my 74 (at time of travel) mom to remain healthy and needing some muscle power to get around. Now I will have someone who will carry stuff, heavy bulky stuff... Hey I will be busy carrying Tate and let's face it, as amazing as my mom is, 74 year old muscles can't really haul a whole lot of "stuff". Then there is the all important technology aspect. As this long wait continues, there has been new technology available to us.... Skype and portable Internet service. Let's talk pictures here.... The most important pictures will be the Gotcha/Family Day pictures. I am counting on John to capture the moment. So traveling for Tate will be me, Tate's Nana and my brother and sister-in-law Michelle. And the cherry on top of all this is ... John and Michelle are my chosen guardians for my little TATE.
  
• "Digging for buried treasure". I have been using that expression trying to entice Smiley (nephew) to come with his "teenage muscles and energy" to pull up the carpet and see what lies beneath. Since this house was built in 1915, I knew there would be hardwoods underneath, but the quality and condition was kind of scary until seen. Happily, underneath is "TIGER WOOD" oak 2 1/2 inch wide planks. There is some wear and tear, but nothing a professional (I am not even going to attempt this) can't bring back to it's glowing beauty. I will be adding hardwood (trying to match) thru the kitchen, hallway, sun room and down the stairs to the basement. Of course this is all in preparation for the arrival of little Miss Tate.


• The "baby moon" to Paris is quickly approaching. I remember when I committed to this trip back in March I was worried I would either be traveling for Tate or just home (wishful) or waiting for her referral. Sadly, this is not the case. This will be the last trip I will be able to sit in first class internationally before I fly for Tate. The airline does not let an employee fly in first with a child less than 8 yr old. Since I am assuming Tate will younger than 8 yrs old, it will be the last for a few years. If anyone has suggestions for Paris, please email me or leave comment.
• I have been seeing adorable bracelets on some of the little ladies and wonder where people are getting them..... Abbey, Rose and Marie, are a few that come to mind. I need to know where I should get Tate's bracelet?
• FACEBOOK .... just do not "get it". Can someone enlighten me to what is so grand about this?
• Oh.My.Heck.......SECRET LIFE OF BEES.... the movie is coming out soon! Oh man, how I loved that book! I hope the flick will not disappoint.
• I am reading Silent Tears right now. I agree it is a must read for those who are affected by China adoption. When I get done, I hope to do a review.
• My little street in the city of "yuppies/dinks" (are these actually used terms anymore?) have been adding babies! This is good news because one of my real concerns (just might make my "Wide Awake Wednesday" post) is the lack of other kids for Tate to play with. I want Tate to have the neighborhood where she can run around and play kick the can, hide and go seek and bike with other kids. One such family just had a baby girl "Charlotte". I decided to bring in a meal. It is finally a rainy cooler fall day so I decided to make some comfort cooking. On the menu is creamy chicken noodle soup and homemade bread. I am not a bread baker, so thanks to frozen Rhodes bread loaf, hot and homemade is what it will be. Since her name is "Charlotte" I am going to attempt to make a pear Charlotte with our local Utah pears.

TRYING TO MAKE A DIAMOND OUT OF LUMP OF

POOP!!!!

Well, it is not official and the mighty CC*A has not changed it's screen making the official cut of for referral February 15 2006.... To quote Shannon "UGGGGGGGGGG" about sums it up. In the effort to maintain my state of LALA land, just wanted to put a positive spin of what I think the mighty CC*A is trying to do..... Bare with me as I plead this case in point.

• The month of September we received two referral batches..... a fairly hopeful (Feb 1-9 '06) batch at the beginning of this month just after the Olym-pics and another hopeful (Feb 10-15 '06) batch just before a holiday break..... Hummmmmm...... 15 day of referrals were given out in the month of September..... 15 days would be considered 1/2 of a month! I like to believe that the CC*A is giving out half months of referrals at this time.....

This is little stretch of reality, I know, but it does make things seem just a little easier..... Don't ya think?.

SHEESH ZAM.... I can't neglect saying "my heart goes out to the families who were sooooo close, February 16 and 17 and beyond..... but take comfort in knowing YOU ARE NEXT!!!"

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN

Rumors!!!!

There is electricity in the air.....

• How many days will CC*A refer.
• How many more days until Tate's referral?
• Will the formula tragedy make an affect on amount of referrals?
• Speed up? Slow down?
• Can't Breathe.

Can't sleep, can't concentrate..... can only EAT!

Titillating, energetic excitement!

LALA LAND...

This morning at the dog park, a group of people were chatting about the take-over of the mortgage companies and the economy. I found myself moving quickly away. AVOIDANCE.

As quickly as I moved away, the same chatters quickly caught up with me. I guess they wanted to include me in their depressing conversation. ANNOYANCE.

Sensing that I was stuck with this group, with lighting speed, I changed the subject to something frivolous, empty-minded. FUN.

So here I sit, clueless to what is truly going on in this world around me. With every breath I take, all my thoughts, actions and concerns are all about Tate. The wait, preparing, the unknown. OBSESSION.

Someday when I am living my life, this time with Tate in my arms, I will be able to clue-in on the world around me. But right now, I cannot seem to wrap my mind around anything else but......... TATE .

NOT SUCH A GREEN THUMB!

My attempt, and a sad attempt it was, of a garden this year. I planned to have a few tomato plants, a zucchini plant and some fresh basil.


With all the zeal of Farmer Jones, I plowed with a hand shovel my 3 ft x 3 ft designated garden plot on my small "farm". A spot that I strategically placed away from the trampling of Mesa's huge paws.

All Summer long I lovingly attended to my "garden".

Watering, weeding, pruning.

Under the Harvest moon I harvested the joy(s) of my Summer labor... this one and only ripened red tomato. So unappealing I am not sure if it will be eaten. I do have tons of green tomatoes but since this is the first day of Autumn, I am having my doubts that they will be vine-ripened tomatoes.... Anyone want to join me in eating some fried green tomatoes?

And man of man, will you just look at the size and quality of my bountiful reward?!

Sadly, the zucchini plant did not produce one single lonely zucchini. And does not merit having pictures of it.

GUESS-A-MATION

I'm all a flutter..... Sooooo very soon we will see if this month we will be meeting Ellie (Feb 16) or Lauren Elizabeth (Feb 17), Giorgia (Feb 17). Meeting all three this month just might be a possibility.

Today RQ posted predictions of when I should be seeing my sweet Tate's face. So here it is... If CC.AA refers on an average 5,6,7,9 and the unlikely 12 days.

5 days---March referral

6 days---February referral

7 days---January referral

9 days---December referral

12 days--December referral

I am hoping to see who Tate is by Christmas..... I have got to be back from Chi.na by March 4th when my paperwork expires.... Oh how I hate to have to deal with the redo of it A.G.A.I.N.

HURRICANE IKE

Right now myheart and mind right now are with the people who are suffering from Hurricane Ike. I know I am a week late, but yesterday it HIT.ME.HARD. Some of you might know that I work for Contin*ntal airline who's HUB is in Houston. I work on the bussines elite desk in the reservations area. For ten days now I have worked either changing reservations for people who are either trying to get to their homes before or trying to flee away before Ike hits. As a whole I thought "wow, this is really bad" but when I started to talk to individual people, I realize how personal it has become to me.

I might be generalizing here, but I am assuming the elite callers I service are pretty financially stable. Some have talked about being able to bathe in their pools. Some have generators. While others have been able to flee away from the storm and later return. My heart goes out to these people but who I really am concerned for are those who are poor. Those who do not have the insurance to regroup their losses. Have extra food on hand, generators, gas, lodging and pools.

The day after Ike it, I talked to an elder man (sounding about 80 ish) from Galveston. He said his house has 5 feet of water in it and his large boat has sunk. Granted he was not poor and he could re-coop his losses but was still suffering. When I chatted with him, I thought he just might loose it and cry. He said he has given up hope of starting over and thinks he just may move to his son's in Kansas City. To be 80 and start over--- not a good thing.

Last night there was another man who talked about the joys of service he and his family were experiencing. His church had organized their missionaries, youth and able body adults into work forces to help those who can dig out, cut down and comfort. He said by giving service to others, they were able to deal with the losses that they were experiencing. He said there is always someone else who is worst off. He laughed that at his own home there were trees to be cleaned up but somehow helping others seems more urgent.

Every night for the past week on my drive home I re-hash my night. I digest the stories of service, suffering and pain. How can this not touch me all the way from Texas to Utah? I have grown in thought and spirit listening to others suffering and service. I have tried to give a listening ear and warm words to those I can touch via my job.

So to the people who are touched at all by Hurricane Ike, my love and heart goes out to you. I pray that these times of sorrow will also bring you strength and clarity in your lives. I wish you the best life can offer you at this moment.

STUFF.

Tate has a new crib. I decided that the one I had originally bought ($15- yard sale) was a little too unsteady. I did not want it to collapse if she decide to move around in the crib. I really do not want to be co-sleeping with Tate (unless this is what she needs). Since a collapsing bed just might turn her OFF from the crib.... I got another great one at a yard sale- with a drawer under the crib. I did buy a new primo mattress for her kingdom. I am still working on the Kingdom, but it is getting close to unveiling.

This old one I sold for $20.00....

At this time, Organization is my PASSION. When you live in a 1600 square foot, 100 yr old house, with only one original closet, a gal goes crazy looking for space. Add into the mix 90 lbs of snuggle lovin' pup AND a child in your future, you try to organize and find space where ever and however you can. Since moving in, I have added three additional closets, one I just changed into a pantry storage place. Soon I will be tearing down the lathe and plaster wall in the master bedroom(and I say that with a laugh cause this Master is only the biggest bedroom in the house and it's mine) exposing a 7 foot long closet that has had an opening door that is 2 1/2 feet wide. I have stuff hidden in that dark hole that I am sure I forgot existed. Maybe I really don't need to buy some new Autumn clothes?! I have been using Tate's closet for my stuff..... once I am out of the way, in will move the fashionista's Haute couture.

I have started gathering "stuff".... things that I know I will need but will not realize it until I need them. Since I am thinking of these needs now, I buy.TODDLER TOOTHBRUSH (in PINK)!!!!


AND THIS......
Momma's have written sonates and sung praises about this stuff. When Tate's precious hiney is in need, I will reach for only the best B*tt Paste.

Yvette, one of my SWAC (single woman adopt china) mommas, made a great suggestion to get a accordion file system for organizing all the paper work you take, received, and other "paper type" souvenirs gathered for Tate's life book. As this LONG time has stretched on, I hear great ideas for these life books... In one of the sections I have started collecting stuff. Ziplock bag labeled dirt from China (just in case I want it later), scrap book paper in white to ask for Tate's hand prints and footprints while she is getting this done. And 3 x 5 cards with ideas. With my "senior" moments lately, this is just how I have to roll or I will forget.

NATURALLY

BREATHTAKINGLY

BEAUTIFUL.....

TWINKLE TOES

(my niece)

Had to share this picture.... one of the first I took with my new camera.... I will post about this amazing camera, after I get permission from someone.

TESSIE TIME

I know everyone is going thru Tessie withdrawal since Julie went Password.... so for those who need a fix, here's Tessie....She is really into jumping off things. Tess and her BFF Muriel, have been really into jumping off of things. Here she is on Tate's anywhere chair from P*ttery B*arn Kids. This chair is the first piece of furniture I bought for the kingdom.

During the time that Julie and Tess were visiting, I had some other mommas over for chat and dinner. It is sooooooo funny to me how we always start the evenings early with the thoughts that the toddlers will tire out and want to head home to bed. This is never the case. We all partied to almost midnight. Most of you recognize Eliza and Tess. That sweet little tiny gal smack in the middle is Charlee. She is one of the kiddos from our single woman adopt china group (SWAC). I thought I would include these little ladies for the get together cause they are all within 7 days apart in age. Oh and what a cute age this is!

I totally look like a mess in these pictures... Hey this is just how I roll when I am cooking for people in my house and would rather chat it up with Julie and Tess than groom. I really do clean up well, I promise.

Thanks for sharing your gals, Julie, Tiffany and Yvette. This is what is my beacon of light right now.

LID

ALL TIED UP

With knots of emotions..... almost out of control emotions.

Today at work I was changing an airline ticket for a passenger. A passenger who felt she needed to share the reason for the change. A ticket that was a no penalty refundable ticket. But somehow she had to share, which caused me to burst right into tears... while on the phone. She was changing the ticket because her sister is in hospice and she needed to be there while she was still alive. Normally I would have given my sympathy with words, but not burst into tears. I tried to control the "sound" but tears were streaming down my cheeks and onto my shirt. Emotional and out of control, I tell ya.

So this little cry-fest put me to thinking about what is going on inside of me. I have been trying to keep stable with my emotions. To keep it positive and to roll with the flow. There was an earth shattering thing that happened during this wait and still I plugged on. I made a choice to try and remain positive with this long wait, news of the lack of Hague accreditation that my agency missed, and the thought of the upcoming Autumn season of family fun. Swallowing all this emotions has filled up my heart and finally had to burst.

I am tired of the anticipation of the China experience. I have hear and read and lived through others. I have loved to being part of the experience of others while they start their journeys from referral, the wait to travel, the actual gotcha moment, the piles of paperwork, oaths, attachment and to hold and experience the emotions and love of motherhood. But now, I want to have my very own experience. I want to have the things that have me scared, done. The stuff that I look forward to, done. I want to have the long flights, done. I want to be done. DONE with this chapter in the journey but starting the chapter of my life as Tate's momma.

So let me put a warning out for those who know me, hang with me, family, friends and co-workers. Handle me with care. Walk softly, speak with love, ignore my outbursts of tears and emotions. I promise, this will pass with time.

THE NUMBER GAME

If rumors are correct.... The CC*A has referred babies for families who have been waiting since Feb 9, 2006. If this shining tidbit of information is correct, it would mean that there will be only 26 more LID calendar days until I will be freaking out waiting to seeing my sweet Tate's face. I am beyond excited how quickly CC*A could possibly burn through these 26 days. Frighteningly though if the CC*A only refers a few days per month, then the 26 days will seem like an eternity.

I have had a few friends who know me, guess at the age Tate will be at referral..... Also in this guessing game is the month I will be traveling. So far the consensus has been Tate will be 18-24 months..... Mary Mia thinks she will be from Jiangxi province..... Tiffany thinks I will be traveling in February 2009. All seems reasonable. If I get the gumption to get it together in the next few months, I will do a voting on when, where, how old.

All I know for certain is ....

Fingerprints expires .......October 30 2008.

I171 H expires ...... March 4 2009.

I am okay with the finger prints re-do-ness. I just want to be back from China by March 4 2009. Will this happen with only 26 days between me and my gal? Twenty six maybe quick breezy days.... TWENTY-SIX slow as molasses days.

This uncertainty is merciless.