Friday, July 07, 2006

BIRTHMOTHER'S SORROW series #2

This is a posting that is the second installment of the story of my journey to adopt TATE. I will post these in installments in the order which they occured last year. I have not shared this with too many out there in BLOGGER internet land. And I am some what worried that I just might expose too much of my personal side to who knows may be reading this. However, I am writing this as a way for me to figure out and remind me why I am choosing to adopt at my age and singleness.
This is an experience that happened on year ago today on July 7 2005.....
This time it is an excerpt from a journal that I am writing for Tate. I have been writing as if I am talking to her.

"I was doing something very mundane in the house. Maybe straightening or dusting. All of a sudden an overwhelming sadness came over me and my thoughts were of your birthmother and the agony and heart wrenching pain that it would take to give you away. I knew you would be so sweet and beautiful and so difficult for a mother to have to give you up. I had the overwhelming feeling of kneeling immediately and praying that our Father in Heaven would give peace to your birthmother letting her have comfort and knowledge that you would be cherished and love more than can be imagined. I wanted her to feel forgiveness to herself and peace that her actions of abandonment were not by choice. After my prayer I stood up and had immediate peace and the warm knowledge that your birthmother also had peace in her heart."


Remember at this time I still thought I had a good year before I could even start the 12 month paper chase for you.....

to be continued July 10/11

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to wish you a Happy 4 Month Anniversary. If the wait stays at 12 months you are 1/3 of the way to Tate!
Your Feb. Secret Pal

Melissa said...

here's one way of looking at things - you are AHEAD of schedule!! You thought the wait would be longer for you - imagine that!!!

Paulette said...

Can't wait for the next installment. Tate will love to read this some day.

Colleen said...

Loved reading this. Straight from your heart! :-)

Tracy said...

what a wonderful post. I am looking forward to more.

Holly said...

you have such a beautiful spirit, Lisa.....

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