Tuesday, July 11, 2006

PAPERCHASE BEGINS Series #3

I am concerned that people will think I am crazy….If they have just found my blog and only read my Series they might thing “What the ???? This gal is crazy.” I am sharing these amazing (to me) things that had lead up to and confirmed my decision to adopt from China through prayer. I will preface this prayer thing with….. Praying was something I never did…. I never prayed for guidance concerning major decisions and did not expected to get an answer to my prayers…. Some people have prayers answered, but I just was not one of them. I actually thought that God had forgotten me along this road of life. As I relay these very personal feelings and experiences, just know that I want to share a part of me with you….. I am also being selfish because I need to remind myself, and address my doubt, that I know that this plan for me to adopt Tate is not really my plan but one that is given to me as an answer to prayer.

One year ago today…. July 10 2005.

After feeling for months a spirit of a baby girl along side of me as well as the overwhelming sorrow I had shared with her birthmother, there was an urgency to get going on this process and felt total frustration with the inability to GET GOING on adopting my gal. On the night of July 10 2005, I prayed for comfort to settle all my frustrations and patience for the promised start in early spring from my agency. Tears were shed and I ended up sleeping poorly. Morning of July 11, 2005 I get an early morning call…. Totally annoyed I answer ready to berate the fool that woke this sleeping tiger…. It was my Agency China Representative, “Let’s get you going on the paper chase…. I am putting you ahead of 5 other singles because I feel this baby is for you”…. WHAT????? Needless to say I was in shock, then the overwhelming feeling that I am sure we all have gone through….. This was a miracle and a direct answer to my prayer from the night before!!!! I spent the rest of the day in tears of joy, sharing my news with the world and praying…..

This is a journal entry I wrote that day to my daughter…..

Baby of Mine-
I have the strongest feelings that your spirit is here with me…I know that I must find you and unite with you. Could you have been mine in the pre life???? Are you the spirit I felt when I was in my twenties and the age where I would have normally had a little girl? These are questions that will be unanswered until we leave this earth. I know that the spirit I feel right now is you.

For better or worst we are to be together on this journey on Earth. ….

8 comments:

Stephe said...

Great post. I love the fact that you've been writing in a journal. I wish I had started one. It's a wonderful thing to look back on! Thanks for sharing! :)

Cindy said...

Hey Lisa...Been lurking mostly but the dates caught my eye. July 10,2005 at 6:03 pm my little Scooter came in to this world. It was definatly a day for blessings...I am so glad you are getting yours, soon I hope. Any idea on travel dates yet?

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