THE CAKE....

It is a well known fact around the family that I love me a Costco cake. My SIL, Michelle, is well aware of this fact. I have been known to drive 40 miles one directions to one of children's birthday because of the temptation of this Costco cake.... I think frosting is my favorite food right now...



This block of delectable delicious decadence is chocolate FROSTING, yellow cake and a strawberry cream center.







Michelle tried to personalize it especially for Tate transforming the BLOND princess for this Asian one. We had a laugh when we saw that princess' need to have curly hair and what is up with that black mouth???

The theme of the shower was all about China adoption so of course there were plenty of Ladybug sightings, including on the cake.

This was to represent when the stork is flying. It was so fun that Michelle was able to take a Costco cake and work within the confines to create this special cake.

CHINA FLAG. ASIAN PRINCESS. LADYBUG. STORK.

TONIGHT

In preparation for Tate's care package....



I start sleeping with this....

Super soft blanket from Julie and Tess and sweet snugly TY teddy bear.

TOO CUTE

Yesterday morning my dad woke up, looked at my mom and said "In two weeks we will be seeing the picture of our baby".... I love that he is so excited about this new granddaughter that he refers to her as "OUR BABY". Pretty heart warming CUTE!!

EDUCATION HOURS DONE....

Just finished my 10 hrs of education hours..... really enjoy most of it. Just have to mail out the printed certificates and the final check for my latest home study. I have made a decision that I will be doing my post adoption visits with another home study group. ENOUGH SAID.

What a amazing a thoughtful shower my sister gave me. I think there was about 30 people there all for a sit down Chinese dinner. I am working on getting the shower post together. Just need to collect some of the pictures....

I still have not finished Tate's Kingdom. ENOUGH SAID there also.

ALL THE WAY FROM FLORIDA.....

My sister... KELLY!!!

When she surprised us at Christmas time, she realized that our parents are aging. I guess when you live away from a situation, you are more aware of the changes that happen on a daily basis. In all of us kids minds we see our parents fun, vital and youthful. We are lucky that at age 74 (Mom) or 79 (Dad) they are healthy, vibrant, fun people. But still they are getting older. I am so glad that my sister can have the time and income to fly home more often.

It's Kelly time ... she is a real organized, clever and imaginative person.

All the way from Florida she has organized a baby shower for ME and TATE. She has put our sister-in-law, five nieces and our Mom on "task". Mom (Nana) was suppose to dip fortune cookies in chocolate. I guess my dad felt left out and decided to be the one to dip the fortune cookies. How cute is that?! He did such a great and delicious job, he ended up eating quite a bit of the cookies.... Yesterday more fortune cookies were bought and he will be dipping a lot more. Extras were bought so he will have the opportunity to nibble to his hearts content.

All the way from Florida, Kelly came for some sister time.... lunch and a movie. We dragged my dad with us. We went to see Slum dog Millionaire. I was so worried that Dad would not like this type of movie. He loves anything war and the typical guy movie. He actually really loved it. Word from Kelly was he even shed a tear or two at the end. I loved the movie... no tears however from me.

Tomorrow is the shower..... No worries.... I will be taking tons of pictures and sharing.

FLOORS DONE....

DONE DONE DONE.....

What was once a nightmare .......

Is now a DREAM......

Same corner of the dining room. The heat vent is missing because matching wooden ones that will close and open are being made.

I am now waiting for the floors to "cure" and will not be putting the furniture in the rooms until Monday or Tuesday. I bought a 8 x 10 wool rug for under the dining room table and chairs. That rug and the living room rug will have to wait for a few weeks.

BURNIG EYES....

I am huddled amongst the piles of "stuff" in the basement family room, trying to get as far away as possible from the fumes invading the main floor, due to the last and final coating of the hardwood floors. (whew... what a run on sentence that was!) Although I am buried under blankets sitting between the piles these fumes still have reached me.

In my mail today was the bill for my FINAL home study... also a reminder that I need to get my education hours done BEFORE the referral. So with total dedication, in earnest, I am reading, listening, think and doing the homework. I am really enjoying the new found knowledge which is making me more aware of what is yet to come. Sleeping plan? Feeding plan? PLANsssss???? The glare from my laptop is painful.

With fumes in my eyes I am cramming for the most important test in my life. I take comfort in knowing that there will be a huge learning curve... no pass or fail grades. I am sure, without a doubt I will be getting A's as well as F's during this life long time of learning with Tate. As long as my grade average is a B or normal... I will be good with that.

HISTORY MAKING.....

The wait for Tate has hit the monumental three year mark.

THREE YEARS....

thirty-six months.

I guess we are the first ever group to hit three year of waiting for our referrals.

Just hoping we don't hit 37 months before Tate makes her appearance.

RAW EMOTIONS.... UPDATED

UPDATED.....

I woke up this morning after getting 6 blissful hours of sleep (2 1/2 hours the night before) and knew what I needed to do. I do not thrive in unorganized mess. Piles of all the stuff that make up a living room and an well equipped dining room were every where. Piles of china, plates, crystal and stemware are on the kitchen island. NO WHERE to make something to eat. In Tate's Kingdom is wall to wall furniture. The front porch has the china cabinet and armour. The garage is full of the couch, chairs, dining room table. It snowed last night. Since the car was not in the garage, I got to clean off snow. The point???? These things weigh heavily on my over taxed emotions. Hence, I feel numb, scared, doubtful.

I will be spending the morning in TIFFANYLAND. Those who read Eliza Story before she went password protected know the cuteness of Eliza and now the snugly cuteness of the little prince Solomon. I just need to spend time away from these piles of stuff, noise... holding and snuggling baby and toddler.

Thank you so much for the positive comments and reassurance. I sometimes have to remind myself that the joys overshadow the fears.... I will take one day at a time.

*************************************************************************************

I seem to do my best thinking and writing my blog in my mind while driving alone in my car. Many post have been created in my mind, but few post actually make it on this blog. Today these feelings have once again been written in my mind, while driving. This time I am taking the time to put "pen to paper", so to speak. Please NO FLAMES.

I feel totally numb. I remember when M3 missed the cut off by one day, I was so emotional. Then other bloggy friends missed their referrals by one day. Once again I was emotional for them and hoped this would not me. Fast forward three years into this long wait. Here I sit with the comforting knowledge that without a doubt, I am NEXT, but somehow I feel no emotions about this. A numbness. Kind of like someone please pinch me, numbness.

I am not sure if this numbness is due to the fact I am scared to death. Scared of taking on another life to care for. Responsible for feeding clothing, nurturing another living soul. Scared that I will be doing this as a single OLDER momma. Not sure if this is hitting home right now because in thirteen days I will be turning one year older. Scared to take on a huge financial responsibility in such sketchy economical times.

I can recognize that I am scared to death. I am not feeling numbness on this emotion.

Doubt is another emotion that is alive and strong. Doubting that I will be the parent that Tate needs and deserves. Doubt that I will be able to cook, do laundry, clean the house. Will I be able to provide Tate the love of two parents?

Doubt... not a comforting emotion.

From the beginning of this wait I have thought of pulling out of the adoption line. Yet each and every time I think of life without this child, I would feel sick to my stomach. SICK. I am now thinking that in one month's time I will be seeing the face that is to be Tate. This time around... I have no emotions. Time just feels like it is standing still. Thirty days? Twenty-eight days??? Just not getting the butterflies from the joy.

So to sum up this post.... I am scared, doubtful, numb. Time seems like it is standing still.

WEDNESDAY IT ALL BEGINS

Sure not looking forward to the fine dust, loud noise, toxic smell. Just a four day sacrifice but oh the rewards that will be reaped. Gleaming, beautiful, high grade red oak floors. I love that Tate will have such smoothness to take her first steps in her new home.

RUMORS AT A R2

Looks like the rumors are starting with the cut off date for referrals March 6 2006. With a LID of March 7 2006 this would me one thing. We will be next! There is comfort in knowing that next month will be THE MONTH. Don't get me wrong, I would have loved this month to be THE MONTH. Just completely relieved that when asked the ever ending WHEN question now, I will be saying the end of March. Yes, I will see Tate's beautiful face at the end of March.




Wanted to share a little piece of the me. When I get stressed out, I BAKE. I did this when I was studying for tests when at the University of Utah. Kind of a joke with my classmates and they could count on me to bring a pan of something to share after the test. I found myself gravitating to the stove last night. As I was glued to the computer screen, wafting through my house was the smell of Poppy Seed Bundt cake. Delish!






POPPY SEED BUNDT CAKE

1 yellow cake mix
1 cup sour cream
1 tsp rum flavoring
1/4 cup poppy seeds
1 pkg (3. 4 oz) instant French vanilla pudding
4 eggs
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup butter melted



Mix above for 5 minutes. Grease and flower bundt pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Cool on rack for 15 minutes the turn out of pan on rack and cool completely. Dust with powder sugar and ENJOY!!!




Not sure what I will baking next month. I will be baking for a few days worth. If you live close to me, don't be surprised if I show up on your door step with a baked item. Rest assure, I will be sharing the recipes.

NADA

Nothing in the air. Nothing in rumors. Not sure if this is a good sign for a huge referral batch OR just the way things happen. NADA.

To fill up my empty void, I give you some boring bullets.

• Did my taxes yesterday. I am actually for two years in a row, getting money back. Not sure what I will do with this land fall (stretching the truth here) of added wealth. Be practical and place in quickly in savings OR spend it on a luxury item OR spend it on a necessities. So much to think about.
• I have been working on getting rid of a lot of the "clutter" project that needed to get done. You know stuff like replacing the burned out lights in my NINE foot ceiling in the kitchen. Why is it the lights burn out at two at a time? Sorting through piles of papers (taxes, receipts, coupons). Mailing packages. All the stuff that weighs a household down.
• Still working on Tate's room. I did switch what I wanted to do on the eight foot window valance. What I am ending up doing has been a nightmare to say the least. I am almost ready to scrap the whole valance and just leave it as is. Valance and nightmare to be posted with pictures when done.
• My dad just turned 79 the other day. SEVENTY NINE!!! I look at him with youthful eyes and see my Dad as young. He is healthy and full of energy. Just scares me how quickly things can change. He is funny, loving and annoying at time. I do love him so.
• It seems like a lot of people are cutting back on the blog reading. Lent or signs of our busy world. I wish I could join them. But who am I kidding with referrals and people traveling, there is no way I could give it up right now.
• I need a new blog look. I am going to stop this blog and start a new blog when travel to Tate. Any suggestions for names for the new blog? Blog designs??? Would love some input.

Now if only there would be something in the air with all of March 2006 LID's.

Hmmmmmmmmm.

It's Tuesday morning in China right now. I wonder what is happen in the office? Kind of titillating to think that right now they may be MATCHING me and Tate!

GOOD THINGS

Always happen in threes....


Good thing number one...

Finding out the amazing adoption benefits my employer offers to it's employees. The one having me do the happy dance is free airline tickets to and from "place of adoption" for me, my Mom, and brother, who is my pass rider. Going to China just might be in first class.... One of the benefits of working for an airlines.

Good thing number two.......

Look what I found in my mailbox just 6 hours after I received the amazing news about the flights.... It is my renewed and ready to travel I 171H... good until August 10 2010. Jerry was a man of his word and must have hand processed my I-600A and sent it off faster than the speed of sound. I think if has a 8 days ago that I handed off the forms to him.

Good thing number three....

Is yet to manifest itself to me. I am thinking it will be great news about my referral. If this is not the month for Tate's referral, I am good with the referral being next month.

BUSTING OUT THE BULLETS

• I have been sick with a wicked cold for the past 10 days. I still worked my early morning ten hour shift without missing an hour. I am proud of that fact since I am a believer that IF you don't feel good, YOU STAY HOME FROM WORK. I am rethinking this since I want to save my sick paid time off when I have Tate home and may need to use this time for her or for me.'


• I think I opened a whole can of worms when I went to a new MD for my updated physical for the LAST home study. Kind of bitter-sweet. Since I am at "the age" for baseline tests and the history of no less than 4 broken bones in the past three years, the new MD and I decided to I should go for a bone scan. After the scan was analyzed, I get this call from the the MD's office that I have osteo BLAH BLAH and needed to come into the doctors immediately. I am like what the heck(???) and end up in the office the next day. All alarms were going off in my head because I am thinking that my body is falling apart just as I was realizing my life long dream of motherhood. Funny how the worst plays into the mind when given a sudden medical appointment. No worries... the MD told me that I have the beginnings of osteo softening in my spine and just need to make sure I am taking calcium and do weight bearing exercises. Another good reason to get walking with my amazing stroller, dog and TATE!


• In our local USCIS office, we have quite a treasure. Each and every time I have gone to this office I have had the pleasure of having Jerry's help. I cannot begin to describe what a difference this experience has been when you work with someone in a US office who is there for you. He was all knowing in the free I 600A/1 171H and knew exacted what was needed. I handed off the final home study, etc to him the other day. As he glanced over my forms, he tells me he will personally hand process my papers the next day. Got to love a government worker named Jerry for that promise!


• Projects are going slow. I think I have attention deficit in this area. As I try to finish one project, I get sidetracked with another. For months now (actually for a year and a half) I have gotten side tracked with Tate's room. In my defense I will say, working with an old house that needs things done first before cosmetics can be done really gets you off track. That and the fact that I am doing most of it alone. Recently I have made the statement that "in my next life I want to come back RICH or someone who could not care less about decor and detail". Oh how I envy the person who can live with mismatching colors and tacky decor. I am not a fashion diva and those who have been in my home know that it is not perfection.


• I have been worried that when I get THE CALL I will be at work and will see that my agency in on the cell phone but not able to answer it because........ My nightmare that I will be stuck on a call helping some drunk in Las Vegas extending their boozed-out-gamblin' vacation for an addition two days. I was not sure if I should try to cover my shifts for the anticipated days of referrals are expected. I chatted with my new supervisor yesterday about my concerns... the responds was that they would consider this like going into labor and let me head home ASAP to take call the freak out and get the email. OR as threatened, be made to take the call with the ones at work so they could celebrate with me. This touched me deep in my heart since changing to work in the day and not night, I hardly know these people, still they wanted to be part of my joy.


• Sadly, my agency does not get their referral when everyone else does. The story is they live in a town that DHL does not service. Since China uses DHL, the package is delivered to Las Vegas and then is US postal service to their offices in a town 90 minutes away. Is it too much to ask that someone drive to Vegas meet the DHL truck and drive back???? I am tempted to fly to Vegas to meet the package and drive to the office with the package. Only good thing to this is, I can at least gauge the anticipated day to take off of work to wait for Tate's referral.

Today is my kissy cheek love of my snuggle gal, Tess' third birthday (previously To Tess and Back). Go on over and wish her a third happy birthday. Take a gaze at her cuteness and sweetness. Pure Toddler Perfection.

MY HEART SKIPS A BEAT....

Each.and.every.time my bloglines show RQ has posted something. With trembling hand I click onto the blogline, just waiting for the Rumors to start. Oh SHUCKS.... another post about something that is not RUMORS!!!! Last month I wondered who was started these rumors.... Now I am wanting some RUMORS!!! I guess there is NO pleasing the waiting, and waiting I AM!

In self preservation, I am doubting this month is the month but next month will finally be the month.

DREAMING OF A TATE

Not sure if it is the cold medicine I am taking or the anticipated referrals, but man did I have a crazy dream about Tate.

Tate was in my arms. I gazed into her chocolate brown eyes looking thru blond long eyelashes and green skin. She looked just like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas with my Mesa dog's eyelashes. I was okay with this "green fur" and loved her with all my heart. Yap, I was loving my unique gal. At closer inspection I see that this tiny gal has her top two PERMANENT teeth. Hmmmmmm, she is a lot older than expected. These permanent teeth were in need of major orthodontia... I can always mortgage the house for her gleaming happy smile. Shockingly she spoke perfect English and quickly told me how much she loves carrot juice and loves to dance and is not from China, but from Germany?!

So I am loving my furry green, carrot juice loving, dancing German girl. How can I not love her when she is batting those long blond eyelashes at me?!

WHEW...

In my hands I am holding my last and FINAL home study! With the frustrations I have had with my agency during this long process, this is a HUGE relief! Tomorrow I am heading to "the Homeland security office" to give a face to face hand-off of these precious sheets of paper.

I am ready for some good RUMORS, where are they???

LOVING MY NEW CHAPTER...

It has been exactly three days since starting my new work schedule..... I am LOVING IT!!!

Three nights home... out doing what most people do in the evenings. Sunday dinner at my brother's (Super Bowl party), two days of walks as the sun kisses the day goodbye. Creative burst finally causing projects to get done.

Truly a happy new chapter for me!

TOMORROW STARTS A WHOLE NEW CHAPTER....

And my life will never be the same as it has been for the past 18 months.

Tomorrow the alarm clock will be going off at 5:00 am. This is freakin' early for a gal who has gotten to (mostly) sleep in and awaken "naturally" for the past 18 months.

Tomorrow will be the beginning of enjoying EACH.AND.EVERY evening at home, well at least, not at work for five days of the week. A new chapter in getting to eat fresh dinner.... not microwaved frozen dinners. Fresh right off the stove and hopefully healthier.

Oh how I look forward to being part of the day as it winds down into night. The days are getting longer, the snow and ice are thawing, and I am itchin' to get out there and enjoy EACH.AND.EVERY evening.

*** I work for an airlines and every 4-5 months we get a new shift time and days off.... just got lucky and working early hours! Yea!

DINGY.......

To those who have had conversations with me lately, DINGY is how you might describe your encounter with ME!!! Freak!!! I'm searching for words, loosing concentration, talking slow. This is not the true me. Sadly, I am very aware of this. I kind of brushed it off as an age thing.... hormones, stress, preoccupations. A few weeks ago I had my third and FINAL physical for the updated home study. The doctor was new to me and a detailed history was taken. During this conversation the doctor suggested a few other blood levels to be drawn. Heck, even she could tell that I was dingy! My blood work showed vitamin deficiencies which would be to blame for all this freakin' memory, searchy, flighty behaviors. I now will be having weekly Vitamin B something shots (memory to blame for not remember which one), prescriptive strength iron, Vitamin D.....

Oh how I look forward to my witty, sharp minded self again. For those who knew me when will scream "Welcome back, my friend"... for the new friends, I am sure you will be saying "Who is the woman???"

Tomorrow I start the weekly shots... oh my achy arms.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

Year of the OX!!!

I had fun meeting some local Chinese daughters and mommas to celebrate the first day of Chinese New Year. Thank you ladies for letting me soak in all that delicious cuteness of your Chinese daughters... it really helps me fill up my empty heart and arms yearning for Tate.

*****SPLAT*****

Two days???? TWO DAYS!!!!

Freak! Who are these people who come up with these crazy rumors!?! I am just a little miffed at getting such high hopes then deflated!!! I did try to keep these rumors in perspective. But still got such high hopes only to come tumbling down. A quick cry and then off to live my life for one more month.


Still quoting Seinfeld "SERENITY NOW!!!!"

I am really excited for the families who are March 1 and 2 2006 who will be seeing their sweet babies this month.... Congrats!!!!

REFERRAL DAY PLAN...

I am really lacking in this one... or so I have deducted by my lack of plan. I am giving it a 30% chance I will get my referral for Tate in a week or so. I am giving next month a 90% chance that this will the "THE MONTH" for a referral. That being said, I have not done a whole lot of thinking and planning for that special day. I just figure IF I get a call from my agency this month, I will pick it up and say "HI" and search for a pen and paper to write on. Change of plan, I will search out "the call" sheet I printed off of Giorgia Danette blog a few years ago and put in a safe place, adding a pen close by.

I am not sure if I should request a day off of work this month when there is rumor of storks flying.... a day I would rather save and take off when I actually have my gal.... Then again, there is no way I can take "the call" at work. Such dilemma. I will have to talk to my supervisor about that one.

Do I round up the troops (family) for a gathering for "the call" and ask agency to call back when everyone is gathered? Hmmmm, it would take parents at least 30 minutes to get to my house and brother and family one hour... providing everyone is ready to jump in the car and head out the instant I rally the troops.....This one I all ready know the answer. There is no way I will have the emotions to do this one... "FREAKIN' GIVE ME THE INFORMATION, agency lady!!!"

What to do about the blog??? Another no brainer... get a post ready "to go" where I can add the picture and information.

Now for the celebration part... this was a questioned asked to me last night by my sweet buddy and fellow SWAC (single women adopt china) gal, Yvette. I guess when Yvette got the call, a huge party was in the works.... Heck, I think they had to rent a banquet hall to contain all those who were celebrating. Opppps, back to the subject in hand..... "the celebration". This one is one I am sure will be the no brainer. We are a family who can celebrate at no notice.... I will do a warning to clear the calender on the rumor day... and head to a Chinese restaurant with referral picture in hand.



So now I have a referral day plan for this low possibility of referral month....

• locate "the call" paper placing in safe place with pen close at hand.
• not take day off but chatting with supervisor for suggestions of what to do.
• get immediate gratification and get information from agency lady before gathering the troops.
• blog announcement ready to post except for vital information ready to be added.
• party like a rock star with referral in hand.

I am sure next month I will be more planned.... day off requested, troops gathered, possible video set up, oxygen mask ready to apply and oh the ever present call sheet ready to gain the added information for my love, TATE!!!

I HAVE A DREAM.....

What more appropriate than to quote Martin Luther King on the day we celebrate him.

Last night I did have a dream.... a VIVID dream. A dream where I received Tate's referral. I got to see her sweet face, see her (assumed) birth date (Feb 28 2008) and see the referral package that the Fed Ex guy brought me. Soooooo vivid and surreal! Needless to say I was not expecting this referral and was in a state of SHOCK and tears..... tears of joy the whole time in this dream.

So, I have a dream... one that might come true in a few days or a month or two. But it will be a dream come true.

BULLETS

So much is going on in my life, on the adoption scene and at this good old house.... all good, but causing me to have no time.

So busting out the bullets.

• Shocked and over the moon with the latest "rumors" of the speed up of referrals thru at least March 23.... I would be shocked if I see Tate's face in a few days to weeks.... happily over the moon shocked!


• After work I stopped off at a grocery store for a few items. I was drawn to the baby section.... I just stood there and stared. I was soaking in all the baby food, melty baby snacks, pediolyte, formulas... BLANKLY stared at all items that means "BABY". I soon will be adding stuff from this aisle into my grocery cart. Sooner than maybe expected, I might add. I decided to buy that small square wipes container for my new diaper satchel.


• Shoppy with my gal in mind .... overstuffed rocking chair for snuggle time with my gal, small portable diaper bag that fits into my purse AND will hook to the side of her stroller.


• I decided to re-register for stuff at Babys r Us. By now I have collected a few things and know more what I need and want. I originally registered a few years ago and I was clueless. Still have not bought a car seat. The one I originally wanted is not available because it was last years style. I guess this is what happens when a momma waits three years for her baby.
  
• Slowly but surely I am getting the nursery done. I have a goal to get it at least looking cute by the time I have a friend and her two kiddos come to visit the snow in Utah.... looking forward to meeting this gal and her family.


• I am working on the renewal of the last and final I 600A... what a joy (cough, cough) to be working with my agency.... I have not wanted to disrespect or speak badly here on this blog so hope this quote from Seinfeld will suffice... "SERENITY NOW, SERENITY NOW!!!"


• For the renewed home study I needed to get a physical. Oh joy of JOY!!! Not only am I armed with the signed paperwork for the home study, I now have a fistful of other "tests" that I get to do!!! Lucky me... mammogram, colonoscopy, bone density scan..... and more blood work.


• Not sure how much I will believe I will be seeing Tate's face next week. I am okay with seeing her muchly anticipated sweet face. Just figure if rumor at true, I will be getting an dream come true sooner than later.
  

I do have a lot of catch up of posts like the home rejuvenation going on here as well as Tate's kingdom and wardrobe. All are posted with anticipation of just plan boring stuff, but stuff I wanted to document for when I slurp this blog, edit, print in book form and end this chapter of the blog. I do plan on continuing a new blog documenting life with Tate.

TOUCHED TO TEARS...

A LOT. Not the sad sobby tears of sadness, but the brimming, ready to overflow tears caused by being touched by so much. I am at that emotional state where everything is joyful and HAPPY.

Teary HAPPY!!!

Tearing up from emails. Cafrin as Ro and Re call her, sent me an email pouring out the love and joy for my upcoming referral. Back at ya my sweet friend.

Tearing up from posts I am reading on other blogs... some mentioning me and Tate, some just getting close to referral, some referral in hand, and others in China getting ready for the HAND OFF of their little ladies.

Tearing up making congrats phone calls.... Blogger Utah single momma buddy just adopted her new sweet little prince Solomon. Not being a texting gal, I call to leave a message on her answering machine. Had to cut the message short because of on coming tears.

Tearing up from the mail.... called my agency about my renewal of the I-600A.... soon a package with the next step and information on what to expect came to my mailbox.

So much happiness for one gal to handle I guess.

ANOTHER LID

not sure how many more.... I would be SHOCKED to receive my referral this time around. Happily SURPRISED to receive in next time... totally at PEACE seeing Tate's face in March go around.

"THERE IS SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL TODAY"

Do you know that feeling deep in your heart and soul. The nagging what is up feeling. The feeling that I cannot place a finger on it feeling. That's me... I am right there. Kind of like a coal burning deep within. A happy coal, that is. Underlining this happen feeling is kind of like a panic coal. HAPPY PANIC coal...... Happy because soon it will be my turn to become a Momma...... something I have wanted to be ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE. Panic because I am thinking WHAT AM I DOING????

HAPPY coal I will embrace.... panic coal I will try to put out.

Happy 2009!!!

"2009 will be the YEAR I will become a MOMMA!!!"

This I shrieked as I about passed out from the truth of this BOLD statement. There is shock and disbelief that this long wait for Tate just might come to an end within the next few months. (Breathe Lisa Breathe)

For the last few months I have had these two 3x4 cards posted on my fridge.

One card is the expiration dates for my fingerprints and I 171H. The other is a list of waiting mommas with their LIDs.

Notice everyone is crossed off!!!

Congrats to the last three.... Ozi-momma. Pipo, and Kelli who are lovingly gazing on the pictures of their sweet gals..... I am once again amazed how well the CC*AA has matched babies to families!

Picture of Mesa just because she is so sweet!