Wednesday, April 15, 2009


At least that is how I am starting to feel. While all other bloggers are sending care packages, getting updates on their new daughters, I am still waiting for my referral documents to be translated. Yes.... after many calls to my agency, I finally did get emailed the documents. No FedEx moment for the life book. Funny (actually not so funny) thing is, in the initial information Tate's birthday is August 13. In the translated stuff, it gives her birthday as August 1. Another discrepancy is the name. In her initial information her name is Bo Yuzhu.. in the translated documents there is another name. I am assuming there was a mix up among the ten documents that was translated at the same time. I can handle this, but when I ask the agency about this, I get Nada. I asked about sending a care package and was told I cannot send a package. When I asked if we can request updates on size and weight and hopefully pictures, another NO. So do I send a care package with both names on the stuff??? Once I establish her name she is know by in the SWI, do I pay a service for update information?

What this all means to me is.. total frustration. This is the time I should be blissfully working on getting things together for this monumental life changing time of my life.

I am blissfully happy with gazing at my gal, though.


KHM said...

Oh fudge. I can only imagine how frustrated you must be. When it is all over drop into the Rate your adoption agency yahoo group - and share. Save someone else the aggravation.

I am so sorry you are being served so poorly.

Circe said...

How frustratiing! If it makes you feel any better, I know for a fact that Xanthe never saw our care package and would have been too little to care if she had. Still, it was so much fun to put it together. MAybe you could do a care package and keep it here. We ended up hauling ours back home from the orphanage intact. Or spend some time gathering really good-quality donations like socks and undershirts to give the orphanage when you get there. We took a suitcase full of donations from friends instead of clothes for ourselves. The laundries in China are cheap and fast. Good luck!

Jill, Mike and Maya said...

What a bummer to have your parade rained on! And by the ones who are supposed to be there for you at this time more than are paying them for that for crying out loud!!
Just keep looking at that beautiful sweet face and soon you'll be kissing it too!

K said...

What a dilemma. If you do get to send a package, how about putting a picture of Tate in with it, just print the one you have. That way there can be no doubt.

My agency recommends NOT sending a care package because they believe that the time it takes to deal with it, especially with a camera, takes away care from the other children since the nannies always have so much to do. I still would like to send one, but I'm waiting to see how I feel at the time.

Meanwhile, perhaps you can find someone on RQ who will be travelling soon to Tate's SWI and can take some pictures, etc...

I can't wait to see The Kingdom!

Anonymous said...

Dear Lisa,
Congratulations on your adorable daughter!!!! She is such a cutie pie!!! I hope you get your TA very very soon!

I have been following your blog along for some time. You once asked about readers in China worrying it was CCAA - remember? I and another girl came forward as your Chinese based readers. I lived in China for 4 years, but are now back in Europe with my little Chinese peanut!

I am so sorry that you are having issues with your agency, but maybe I can help? Have you heard about a website called Red Thread China? It is set up by a Chinese girl and a Western Adoptive mom to provide in country care packages etc.

She might be able to help you in getting a care package to Tate and also sorting out the confusion as she could read the details written on your referal in Chinese. Just a thought!

In any case, here is the web site -

If you want to get in contact with me (and to prove I'm not a freak), my e-mail is

Good luck and blessings to you both!

Ginny said...

I did not send a care package or recieve any updates.
At the time of Riley's referral there was alot of talk that the CCAA was unhappy about care packages and that by sending one we risked upsetting them further. I opted not to risk it for others behind me.
And the updates? Well, my agency just doesn't do them.
In the long run, once Tate is in your arms and home, it won't matter in the least.
Trust me.
But, that said, I can't believe you don't have translated info yet - that is wrong.
So has your acceptance not gone back to China? And are they giving you any time frames for travel?
We singles, so little choice in agencies.
I hated my agency I used for China but, now, years later... they helped me bring Riley home so my hate has dimminished over time.
Sort of like labor pains I imagine!

Yen973 said...

My agency did not encourage care packages either. And would also not give us updates. When I found out that she had been moved to another SWI, they insisted this was not true. I did send a package which needed to be rescued, because she had indeed been moved. I highly recommend using Blessed Kids for the care package. Tate is a cutie.

Johnny said...

A$$vice? Find a Chinese friend and ask them to do a private translation for you.

And check with the Yahoo group for your orphanage and find out if care packages are cool with the orphanage. If so, send on your own. There are many services that will deliver packages and if it's cool with the orphanage, take some pics.

I myself sent a package directly using the US Postal service. It got there about 1 week later.

Pug Mama said...

join Tate's orphanage's Yahoo group. They will be able to tell you if the orphanage will get the care package.

if the orphanage allows it, you can use Ann at Red Thread - she will send a package for you - she is IN China, and she will contact the orphanage to see is she get you updated measurements, and or photos of Tate. You can also choose to mail your own package if you want to hand pick what goes in the care package. I did both - sent my own and used Ann. Your Yahoo group should have the orphanage address where you can just print it off of your computer, or you can probably find the address label on the Blessed Kids site.
If you mail your own package, I would tape her photo to everything - even the box. That is what I did, taped her photo and Chinese name (I photo copied the characters) onto everything.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that is frustrating!:( Hopefully you can bypass your agencies lack of response and find out more info elsewhere. Here's to a speedy TA!!!!

Catherine said...

Sorry to hear about all the problems you're experiencing with your agency...YUCK!!! Hopefully they will answer soon with the correct info.

About care packages, I'm going to use Red Thread China for sure!!! Have heard nothing but great things from them and they do a lot of what you're asking.

People are receiving updated pics and information within days of sending care packages through their service. She will also let you send some things to her (I'm going to send a blanket I've slept with and put into a ziploc and also a photo album with family pics) and they include that in the care package.

Hope things change for the better for you soon and until then happy to hear you're soaking up your precious Tate through her pics!!

The Brown Family said...

Oh Lisa, I am so sorry you are having problems with the paperwork/agency. As suggested, I would have a Chinese friend or someone else double check the paperwork for the details (let me know if you need a resource). They could also give you a good translation/meaning of her name.

We have had mixed success with sending packages. I agree with your other friends who have commented that the yahoo group for her orphanage is a great resource.

Thank you for your kind comments on my blog. I hope that I am not making your journey even more scary at this point! The great news is that we live in an area with TONS of resources and I am finding so many great tools to help my kids :)


LiLi said...

Yes- send the package- I would. You have to be willing to send it would the thought that hey- she may not get it but the orphanage probably needs the stuff & you can tell her you tried. Keep your eyes on the prize.....Tate will be here soon enough!

Michelle said...

I am so sorry to hear about the problems continuing. Just think that soon you will be done with them and have little Tate in your arms.

As for the care package, I sent one on my own. I have a generic translated letter that I got from my agency. Let me know if you want a copy and I can try and find it.

I sent a package but she didn't get any of it. I sent a stuffie and brought a second one that was the same and I could tell she had never seen it. They didn't use the camera but they did fill out a book with questions about her. This was worth more than anything else to me since she was older. I know her first words, steps, etc. I would try it but don't send anything you would miss if it didn't come back. I photocopied her name (in Chinese characters) and her picture and put it on everything.

I also was told we couldn't request updated measurements but I lucked out and some were received anyway. However, the measurements were not correct anyway so it wasn't much help.

Good luck and I hope things improve and you get the translated information figured out.

Tracy said...

Very frustrating... I hope you have answers soon. No matter what, she is YOUR daughter. Hey, I'm doing a virtual Matilda Jane show - if you are interested now that you know who tate is. Send me an e-mail.

simply t said...

I'm sorry you are getting mixed translations....frustrating. I had no Fed Ex moment. I'm guessing my Fed Ex girl was terrified of my barking dog because by the time I got up from the table, she was peeling away from the curb. No signature required...she dropped it on the doormat & RAN!

Do you have a tenative flight schedule yet?

Wendy said...

Send the package anyway. We had an agency that lied too--basically they had no clue about how things work. There is NOTHING that will happen if you do send one; yes there is, you will get NO pics of her time before you.

Another mom I know received different dates as well, I just think they are submitted that way sometimes--you can verify when you get there.

Use Adele or Red Thread or someone and get the info you want, you will just have to pay for it since your agency won't--are you sure your documents were not shipped out to another agency? Ours were and the reason they wouldn't initially supply updates is because they had no contract with CCAA, they had to ask their sister agency to do it and they didn't want to deal with it.

Good luck!

Erin said...

Hi Lisa, I feel for you. It is incredibly frustrating to have no way of comforting your child, giving her a little bit of you! I don't think that any of us can really trust much of the information we get. Our care package was handed to us (it looked unopened) when we went to the orphanage, along with a few posed photos of our daughter holding it (but not using it--- maybe for fear she would damage the items?) We also got wrong info about many things. Because John speaks Chinese, the nannies told him a great deal while we were there. It was different than we had read in the paperwork. The name issue, however, could be very impactful when you get to China--- visa, immigration, etc. I would for sure want that resolved. Just hang on. Remember, that soon this will all be under YOUR control. When you are her legal parent. Very soon.

laurel said...

How hard. We loved doing our care package, but like Circe, ours had only been opened (at least it looked like) the day before we got her. The blanket was still folded with the ribbon around it and the white bear was in mint condition. I wish you had had a better experience. Hang in there. The moment when you get her is almost here! What a wonderful thing. She is so cute and very lucky to have you! Hang in there. It will all be over soon.

Kris said...

Hi Lisa...On Monday I contacted Ann at Red Thread and used her to send a care package to my Kayla. I never asked my agency, I just did it. Ann was great and had updates on my daughter's size already today, but didn't know if she could get the updated pictures. My initial information had a DOB of 8/22 and it ended up as 8/28. I hope they can get it together soon for you!

Soon we will both have our daughters in our arms and all will be good. :-)


Special K said...

I'm sorry to hear of all these frustrations. This has got to be the hardest part. That time between knowing who your daughter is and finally being allowed to go get her.

Hang in there... soon you will have her home where she belongs. :)

Lost and Found said...

Sorry you're not getting support at this most happy time. I know many agencies suggest not sending a care package for children under two and I know many families do anyway. If you opt to send one, I'd send a photo of your girl so it gets to the right baby. One way to thank the staff for the few minutes it takes to give Tate her goodies is to send something for them like a bag of candy or other small token of thanks. I had the luxury of being able to send a package but my daughter was in a SN center and not the SWI. On the flip side I know nothing of the first 1/2 of her life which was spent in the orphanage. I hope you can get the correct translated info. I am sure if you put a call out on some of the larger groups someone traveling soon will try and take photos for you. Good luck!

Shelley said...

May I puleeze just whackyouragencyupsidethehead?

That's all.

Shannon said...

Sooo frustrating. I wasn't supposed to send a care package but did through Blessed Kids. She arrived with only the camera. Unfortunately the disposable camera film never 'caught'-they cameras are different there?- and so no pics anyway. Did get updates but thru BK not my agency. Sigh....